The Ghost of Billy Mays
by blabbie
Summary: Based off a prompt. On the 2nd anniversary of Billy May's death, two lovebirds will get a surprise... Arnold/Helga (?) Oneshot. DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! I WROTE IT FOR FUN!


**AN: NOW LISTEN UP, YOU LITTLE GEEKS! I HAVEN'T BEEN ON THIS DUSTY OLD THING IN LIKE frickin AGES! BUT NOW MY WRITING DOESNT SUCK! frick YEAH! sorry. i just saw this prompt on otpprompts that goes a little like this: **

**_"Imagine your OTP is sitting together and watching tv. Suddenly, a camera crew barges into their house. The ghost of Billy Mays begins to try to sell Person A for five payments of $19.99. When Person B speaks up to try to stop him, Billy includes them in the deal."_ **

**now THAT is a GOOD butt PROMPT! i needed to make it. why with arnold/helga? BECAUSE. the year is 2011 because arnold and helga are 24 and 24-9 is 15. 1996+15=2011. MATH! happy reading! :3 blabbie**

The date is June 28, 2011, the 2nd anniversary of Billy May's death. In a small city in Washington, named Hillwood, two people lie watching the television. They are the Shortmans, a married couple that have lived in Hillwood their whole lives. Theres a story of how they met, but thats for another time.

"I hate commercials." Arnold grumbled as he flipped channels, trying to find a good station.

"Come on Arnold, every station has commercials tonight! Just let them pass," his wife, Helga, replied, taking another pork rind from the bowl she had made.

"Yeah, its almost 9:30 anyway," Arnold reasoned, looking at the clock. 9:28. "There will be a new program on then." He put his arm around Helga, looking at the television.

BANG! Suddenly the back door swung open.

"Helga, I thought you locked the door!"

"Well, I didn't feel like it."

"Helga! Now there's burglars in our house!"

"Oh yeah, we should probably take care of that."

Arnold, irritated, tiptoed upstairs, and got the baseball bat behind his bed. He was always good at hitting. As a kid, he felt bad for hurting people during baseball with the ball, but right now he was proud of it. He tiptoed downstairs and saw his wife waiting for him, unarmed. "Wheres your weapon?"

"Don't need one," she replied, flexing her muscles to prove a point. Totally expected coming from Helga Pataki. They swung open the kitchen door, and started swinging and hitting like crazy, but nothing happened.

"What?"

"Helga, are those...cameras?"

"What cameras?" In the Shortman's kitchen, there was what appeared to be a flim crew, with equipment everywhere. The couple was of course shocked about this.

Arnold started, "Now I don't know what you people are doing in our house, and why, but..." Suddenly, the dim light in the kitchen got extremely bright, and a short, bearded man with a blue shirt popped out of nowhere

"Helga...thats...thats Billy Mays! Why is Billy Mays in our house?"

"Billy Mays is dead, doof-wad!" "This has to be a dream..."

"HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE ALL NEW, HEY ARNOLD!" The two were extremely confused. Arnold pinched himself to see if he was dreaming. It didn't work.

"THIS OLDER, 24 YEAR OLD VERSION OF ARNOLD FROM THE TV SHOW YOU ALL KNOW AND LOVE,"

"TV show?"

"CAN BE SHIPPED TO YOU FOR ONLY 5 EASY PAYMENTS OF 19.99!"

"Helga, what TV show?"

"I don't know what TV show!" Helga turned her attention to the crew."Stop filming us, you freaks!"

"AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU CAN ALSO GET HELGA, WHOS NOW HIS WIFE!" Then fangirl screams could be heard all across the room.

"How do you know us?"

"Why are there dorky little girls screaming?", Helga questioned.

"HEY ARNOLD, ONE OF THE BEST CARTOONS OF THE 90'S.."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Are we..."

"No time to question, Arnold! We gotta get these loonies out of here!" Billy stopped informercialing and spoke to them.

"You don't remember being in the hit cartoon, Hey Arnold? The one where they filmed your fourth grade year?"

"You can't be serious."

"Here's the proof, Joe." Billy pulled five DVDs out of his pocket and gave them to Arnold. They all had Arnold on the cover with the words, "HEY ARNOLD!" somewhere on the cover.

"No...way..." Arnold spoke in disbelief. In a few seconds, he would drop the DVDs and go out cold.

"ARNOLD! Is he okay?"

"Just out cold."

"What a relief. But you gotta be kidding with the TV show thing. Plus, you're not even supposed to be alive."

"Oh, I'm just the ghost of Billy Mays. But the cartoon was real." Helga thought for a second.

"Okay, but if this 'cartoon' is real, was there...hypothetically...say... any of Arnold's classmates secrets revealed?" The ghost narrowed his eyebrows, like he knew exactly was Helga was saying.

"Yeah, everyone knew about your crush on Arnold."

"No...six years of hiding it...six years of successful hiding...down the freakin toilet...nooooo..." Then she, like Arnold, knocked out.

Billy's ghost stood quietly for a second, staring at the mess he had made. He had just ruined these two's lives... all by telling the truth. And all those American minds who just saw the whole ordeal... Not knowing what to do next, he turned to the camera and finished...

"OXI CLEAN! IT GETS THE TOUGH STAINS OUT!"

"Wrong commercial!"

"Who cares, I'm dead anyway."

 **thank you i try :3 but it still sucked! hmm... ;p**


End file.
